In the above TED talk by Sherry Turkle, the topic of how technology, and social media specifically, is affecting our relationships is addressed. She argues that it is making us more disconnected instead than connecting us. We are becoming more reliant on technology to give us our daily dose of “socializing” that we need.
I reflected on my own life and realized that I have become more separated from my friends and family. Although social media is supposed to bring us together, it gives us an excuse not to see each other. Instead of visiting my little sister I can simply text her to see how she’s doing. The same goes for my my friends as well. And forget even using the telephone to have a conversation because let’s face it, no one has time for that! Plus, there are much better things to do on my cell phone than actually speak to someone.
I find myself becoming more isolated from people because everyone is too busy with technology. When people come together they aren’t all there. You never have someone’s attention 100% because their phone can go off at any moment. I never get phone calls anymore — yet I get maybe 50-100 text messages a day if not more. It’s a little depressing.
This new way of thinking leads us to “expect more from technology and less from each other”, according to Turkle. And we “forget how to speak to people face to face because we spend so much time on our phones”. Sadly, this is true. I hate to admit it but I spend so much time texting, instant messaging, or commenting on various social media channels that I forgot how to have a conversation in real time. I’m at a loss for words during parties and find myself racking my brain for something– anything– interesting to talk about that doesn’t require someone Googling something.
Turkle says that “we learn from conversations that we have with each other in order to learn how to have conversations with ourselves”. In order for us to be able to self-reflect we need to talk to other people and hash things out. I remember when friends would call me for advice and we would talk for hours analyzing the situation at hand in the minutest of details. The last call I got is from my University, soliciting donations — two days ago. Now all you need is an internet connection and a laptop and you have all the answers you will ever need at your fingertips — without the embarrassment or the wasted time with conversational pleasantries.
There is no slowing down. Companies are developing more and more marketing campaigns that keep you hooked. For example, AMC has released a mobile app that allows you to do things like answer trivia or participate in polls while watching the first broadcast of each episode for the show Breaking Bad on the AMC network. So not only are people glued to their television sets, they now have the option of being glued to their mobile phones as well.
This all leads us to the idea of “I share, therefore I am” says Turkle. We become so obsessed with posting updates and recording memories that we completely miss the moment. Our updates become mundane and our experiences start to lose their lustre and we get bored. On my twitter feed there are people who post things like “Just woke up, now going to have some breakfast” or “I can’t believe I’m late for my shift”. Seriously, no one cares, go live your life! We start to identify ourselves with our social media channels. It’s almost like if you don’t post about it, then it didn’t really happen.
Which reminds me of a part in Quiet (you can read my review here) by Susan Cain, where she talks about how people in the West are obsessed with the extroverted ideal (i.e. someone who is loud, very sociable, and always speaks his/her mind). We can take that a step further and say that we have become obsessed with the extroverted online ideal. People who don’t have a Facebook account are like unicorns, they just don’t exist. Being in the marketing industry, people are constantly talking about having a digital footprint and branding yourself via social media channels. Employers are placing more importance on Facebook profiles and what kind of person you are online it’s almost scary.
I went to the Puerto Plata last year and went on an excursion to the Damajaqua Cascades (small waterfalls that you can climb that are connected by lagoons) and found myself regretting that I couldn’t bring my camera along and record the whole experience (it wasn’t waterproof). But in hindsight I think I did myself a favour because the memory is still fresh in my mind and I didn’t sacrifice any part of the experience because I was too busy trying to get that one good shot. Let’s all just go outside and smell the roses, instead of taking a picture of the roses and telling everyone how you’re enjoying them.
Joie De Vivre 